I know there are so many people in my community who are grieving this week. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about just Google “Boulder News”). I’m not here to tell you that things will be sunshine and rainbows going forward, because I don’t believe that that’s the most supportive way to move through tragedy. I think sometimes we just need to acknowledge how shitty things can be. The trick is to not get stuck here for too long.
Grieving for those in our Northern Colorado community is a jarring return to a “normal” none of us wanted to go back to. Especially in Springtime. It seems strange that, as the world is coming back to life, we are grieving the loss of ten community members. Needless violence is always difficult to navigate, but especially in a time that was starting to feel so hopeful.
I need to hear this as much as you do. It is okay not to know what to feel. It’s okay to be sad. To not be feeling anything. To be angry and confused. I urge you, not to numb yourself. Numbing my big emotions is typically my preferred M.O. and it’s a hard pattern to break, but I’m working on it. I promise that feeling, like really feeling, is always better than not feeling anything. One of my favorite Lumineers’s song says, “The opposite of love is indifference.” Don’t be indifferent to what’s happening, no matter how messy it is. It’s the only way to make a change.
But first, Feel. Reach for supporting tools as you move through your grief. Dance, even if it feels awkward. Sing a song that sirs feeling in you. Go for a run, take a cool shower, reach for some flower essences and drink a soothing nervine tea.
Honestly, these words feel pretty shallow, but what I’m really trying to say is that I’m here for you. We can be light for each other. Reach out to the person who’s always strong; they’re feeling it too. Don’t be afraid to be the person who says they need a little extra help.