When people are in love they are said to see the world through rose-colored glasses. The sky is brighter, flowers bloom bigger and food tastes better.
For me, there is nothing that compares to my love affair with hockey.
I want to be very transparent — I have never played hockey, and I really do not feel stable wearing ice skates. I’m not part of a club team, and I’m not even sure if I’d shoot right- or left-handed, but hockey will always be my longest and most reliable love. I bet you and your boyfriend don’t have a guaranteed 82 dates a year, every year. When I bail on plans with friends because there is a hockey game on, I’m simply remaining faithful to a 249 monthlong relationship.
My view of life has always been and will always be seen through rose-colored plexiglass. Where typical fans see a sheet of pure white ice, I see a slightly pink rink filled with butterfly-inducing battles and blade-scrapes. Even the jumbotron sparkles a little bit brighter.
People have told me that I’m a hockey fan simply because the players are attractive, and I’m not sure if there’s anything that insults me more. Yeah, OK, their strong shoulders, chiseled chests and fiery eyes excite me, but more than that it’s the undeniable drive and passion that attracts me to the game.
My first crush came circa 2000, inspired by none other than Peter the Great-Forsberg and his baby blue eyes. Even as a 6-year-old, I understood that there aren’t many feelings better than getting lost in the eyes of the man you love. As a 21-year-old, I realize I probably was slightly obsessed. OK, really obsessed. I may or may not have slept with a hockey puck under my pillow for the majority of my elementary school career …
Though I have moved on from keeping a disk of vulcanized rubber under my pillow, my obsession is as strong as ever. I keep a signed Forsberg puck in a case high up on a shelf in my bedroom, and I still love his eyes. Hopefully my love is slightly better-directed now, focused on watching games, learning stats and memorizing obscure facts.
Did you know that Nicklas Backstrom assisted both Sergei Fedorov and Alex Ovechkin when they each broke the record for most goals scored by a Russian-born player? Ovechkin broke the record on Nov. 7, scoring his 483rd goal.
Hall of Fame goalie Patrick Roy used to talk to the goal posts, thanking them when they blocked the puck for him.
Detroit Red Wings fans throw octopi onto the ice during the playoffs because they have eight legs — the same number of games it would take to win the Cup when the tradition started. Who doesn’t like fun facts like that? Crazy people, that’s who. Or maybe the sane ones. People are known to do crazy things when they’re in love.
I’m a big fan of monogamy, but I think it’s possible to be in love with 27 men at a time. Pretty much everything takes a back seat to hockey. No, I cannot go to the basketball game or the movies with you. I’m gonna have to take a rain check on drinks, and I probably won’t be making it out to the party tonight. Should I study for that test next week? Nah, it can wait. Sorry, I’m not going to make it, I have a date with my boys.
***Originally Published in the Gonzaga Bulletin on Dec 3, 2015